i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
