Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
