ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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