I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize