i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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