why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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