I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The feeling are messing with the penis
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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