if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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