i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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