A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Randomize
