areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
