Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
