Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
