i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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