he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
