3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
