He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
