I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
