My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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