He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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