I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize