He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
