What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm getting married
To pizza
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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