Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
where does the pee come out of this thing
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
