Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
