Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
