Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
