Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
