my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
