if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
