He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
pop tarts are not kleenex
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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