I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
