What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize