ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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