life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This baby is an asshole
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
