i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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