On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
