the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
