There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
