5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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