So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Life is so much better after having sex.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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