Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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