Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
