sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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