Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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