He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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