Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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