oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
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