Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
