i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
