Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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