i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just gargled with NyQuil
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
