I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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