im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
