singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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