All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize