And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
