Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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