i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
