Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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