Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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