Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
