so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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