What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
