Yo dont text me then not text me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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