paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
