so that wasnt chicken after all
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
