when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
