the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize